I watched a documentary today called Little White Lie, it was about being black in a white world. Always knowing your different, never fitting in, but never being able to put your finger on why.
At 21 years old for this first time I could remember in my life. I felt accepted, not judged, I felt like I had found my people.
Now this is not to say that I never felt loved by anyone with white skin but it was like unlocking a secret. It was like walking around with a giant secret that no one would acknowledge or explain. Like the documentary said it’s that one drop rule, so we just accept everybody. I felt like the main character, when you’re black there isn’t really a place for you in the white world. In the black world you just slide in and are accepted no questions because you’re one of them. You’re always some category of black. Being mixed is a category of black. White just doesn’t have categories.
Now my story is nothing like the main characters; except for the secrets, the not being comfortable in your own skin, the not being able to ask… but knowing there was so much more to the story than you had been told. But truly our life stories are world’s apart.
As the documentary says, I define the future for myself! For myself, since I found my truth and discovered myself; I’ve been defining my future while taking along my past and regardless of how I define it, it’s mine and it’s based in truth.
Thank you to Lacey Schwartz for making a documentary that allowed me to put into words things I might not have been able to before.