About Me, Health, Reflections, Self Care


Spoons are used metaphorically a lot in my life.

Tonight I have no more and do not wish to lick any…

Sometimes I do not have the spoons to deal with others and the emotional labour required to keep them afloat.

Yet I feel guilt because of it, even when it’s not my fault.

Emotional labour is a difficult and when you hit your breaking point sometimes the emotional labour is just not worth it. Is it worth it to expend your energy propping up another person with no benefit? Will it pay off in the long run? How long do you participate and support someone with emotional labour before pulling the cord? Do you wait until you realize… you were actually licking the spoon?

So many questions fill my head this evening because I am done. I am enough. I am me. I do not need to do the emotional labour in personal relationships to be worthy of them.

Social justice can take alot of emotional labour. To weather the storm you are going to need an inner circle in which there is an exchange of emotional labour and not just a drain.

Remember to take care of yourself and DO NOT do emotional labour for others who do not deserve it.

  • Read a book
  • Get a massage
  • Paint your nails
  • Take a bath
  • Go for a walk
  • Meditate

You are important! You are valuable! You are special! Just you is worthy, without any added extras!

Always remember, “‘No’ is a complete sentence.” ―  Anne Lamott


About Me, Politics, Reflections

International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition

Today is the International Day for the Remembrance of the Slave Trade and its Abolition.

A day to reflect on how slavery affected and shaped the world. It is a day to remember the atrocities that happened. In remembering we honour those who were harmed and killed by a brutal system that did not value human life, a system that viewed black lives as lesser. The effects of the slave trade are still felt throughout our society today and we need to take a look at today’s society because we still have a long way to go in regards to how we enslave individuals in our modern world.

Below is a tidbit of information of how the slave trade affected one of my major ethnic backgrounds.

More than 2 million slaves were sent from the Bight of Benin to the New World, and among them were many from Benin and Togo’s major ethnic groups. The Adja, Mina, Ewe and Fon groups of this region were the third-most enslaved groups sent to the New World. (www.ancestry.com)

I have a hope for the ancestors of the people who were enslaved by the cruel human trade that was legitimized for a long time by racist set of views, that have no place governing anything on our earth. My hope is for them to rise up and realize their worth. To rise and claim their space and no long make apologies or space for negativity that cuts into who they are a a person.

For more information on this day of remembrance please visit    http://www.un.org/en/events/slaveryremembranceday/

About Me, Reflections, Self Care

A summer’s day

It’s been hot but is finally cool again. +30s are just too warm, when you actually have to be productive and work. I have found myself in a state of restlessness over the last few weeks. So many changes coming at me at once. I wish I had a wand I could wave to make it all finished. A state of finished is what I am craving. The constant motion of life right now could use a bit of calm and routine.

A glass of chilled white wine on the deck would be just peachy tonight but alas it’s not in the cards at this time.

About Me, Reflections, Spring Equinox, Wedding, Winter

Wedding Stuff and Sunday Ramblings

Well the wedding was 8 months ago….. I guess it’s time to pull out everything and sell it. Going to spend my Sunday documenting everything and placing it all on Kijiji. Also, need to get my dress cleaned and that up on Kijiji too. K wants to wear her bridesmaids dress to her grade 9 grad in just over a years time, but will it fit? Maybe I should just sell it too.

Cleaning out the basement is refreshing, It’s spring even if it doesn’t appear to be I can get a head start on spring cleaning and when it truly arrives I can be outside working on the garden. I have big plans for the garden this year. I won’t be busy wedding planning and neglecting it.

Here is J shoveling the never ending snow! Below is the view from my window at work on Thursday!2013-03-21 16.42.46

2013-03-21 12.53.46